I'm Not Finished (with Struggling)

Over the last few months, the number of unfinished drafts of posts for my blog has grown quite a bit. The reason for this is that I begin writing a post as I begin to understand what it is that I'm learning, but then I can't quite finish because I'm not sure what God is teaching me. So I leave the blogpost unfinished.

A few weeks later, I think about a different issue or a different analogy for the things I'm learning, and I begin a new blogpost, only to leave it unfinished as well.

Reader, this is very discouraging. Yes, I want to be more disciplined in my writing, but more than that, my lack of completing any blogposts makes something very clear to me.

I have very, very little figured out. I seem to wrestle with things constantly with little progress and very few satisfying answers.

I'm always struggling but never arriving. 

Man! I really just want to arrive. I want to be finished with the constant wrestling. I want to get to a place where I don't struggle constantly, where I've conquered certain chronic idols, where I'm filled to the brim with the joy and peace that I know is available in Christ. But I am not there.

Something I realized, though, is that it's okay to struggle. It's okay to wrestle and to not understand what God is doing. It would be far worse for me to give up than it would be for me to spend each day battling sin and, though sometimes (often) failing, striving to follow Christ.

The truth is that none of us have arrived, none of us are finished, and we won't get to that point until we reach glory. Until we meet God face to face and there is no more sin or brokenness, we will always be struggling toward that end. And that's not fun, but it's okay. And we have help, not only from those with whom we live in community, but also from God himself.

"For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbrith until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:22-28)