All that being said, I haven't been able to finish a blog lately because I haven't wanted to listen to whatever God may be saying to me for the last few weeks. I haven't wanted to pursue God or pursue righteousness. Writing is one of the things in my life that forces me to honesty, and I haven't wanted to be honest with myself, so I haven't been writing.
In my last blog, I talked about pursuing God despite the difficulty, despite the discomfort, and despite the pain of dying to myself. I related that to the difficulty of disciplining myself in starting to run again, and, while I have been running faithfully, I can't say the same for my pursuit of God.
In fact, in some ways, I've been running the other direction.
I thought that if I just sat idly, I would be okay. I convinced myself that, if I just stayed where I was spiritually, it would be fine. I can pursue God later - I'll just enjoy where I am now. It shouldn't always be a struggle, should it?
But I've found that in my idleness, I latch onto my idols more ferociously. If I'm not intentionally seeking to be satisfied in my Creator, I will seek satisfaction in other things.
In some sense, there is no such thing as spiritual idleness. There is no moment when we are truly inactive, because by our inactivity, we are pursuing self instead of God. Apart from God's intervening grace in my life, I am a filthy, vile, hell-bent enemy of God. It is only God's grace that rescued me and declared me righteous and made me His beloved, purified child, filled with purpose and glory in Christ.
So doesn't it make sense that, although I am being sanctified and transformed by Christ, my natural, everyday state is to run away from God, not toward Him? If I'm not actively, intentionally fighting my idols, I'm allowing them to reign over me. If I'm not deliberately tearing down my idols, I'm bowing down to them. There is no middle ground.
I'm always worshiping something, and idleness allows idolatry.
Paul says this about the idolatry of the unbelievers in Rome:
So instead of pursuing Him, I've sat idly, and in my idleness, I cling to other things in hopes of satisfying my soul.
And guess what? My idols never satisfy me. Never.
As my pastor said this morning, only God can make and fulfill the claim of being able to satisfy our souls. Whatever else I'm drinking to satisfy the thirst in my soul, it will not satisfy. Only Jesus can satisfy my soul. Only Jesus. He is enough, surrender is rest, and He will satisfy every longing of my heart.
So the question is, what then will I do? Will I do nothing and let my idols grow? Will I continue chasing after empty things? Or will I throw off my idols in pursuit of the only One who can fill me till I am overflowing?
In my last blog, I talked about pursuing God despite the difficulty, despite the discomfort, and despite the pain of dying to myself. I related that to the difficulty of disciplining myself in starting to run again, and, while I have been running faithfully, I can't say the same for my pursuit of God.
In fact, in some ways, I've been running the other direction.
I thought that if I just sat idly, I would be okay. I convinced myself that, if I just stayed where I was spiritually, it would be fine. I can pursue God later - I'll just enjoy where I am now. It shouldn't always be a struggle, should it?
But I've found that in my idleness, I latch onto my idols more ferociously. If I'm not intentionally seeking to be satisfied in my Creator, I will seek satisfaction in other things.
In some sense, there is no such thing as spiritual idleness. There is no moment when we are truly inactive, because by our inactivity, we are pursuing self instead of God. Apart from God's intervening grace in my life, I am a filthy, vile, hell-bent enemy of God. It is only God's grace that rescued me and declared me righteous and made me His beloved, purified child, filled with purpose and glory in Christ.
So doesn't it make sense that, although I am being sanctified and transformed by Christ, my natural, everyday state is to run away from God, not toward Him? If I'm not actively, intentionally fighting my idols, I'm allowing them to reign over me. If I'm not deliberately tearing down my idols, I'm bowing down to them. There is no middle ground.
I'm always worshiping something, and idleness allows idolatry.
Paul says this about the idolatry of the unbelievers in Rome:
"... they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks to Him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things" (Romans 1:20-23).I read that in my devotions this morning and was so convicted. Here I am, a child of God, and I have traded the glory of knowing Him for the emptiness of other things. I've allowed myself to pursue idols because I haven't wanted to pursue God. Because I often don't believe Him when He says that He is enough. Because I'm afraid of what it will mean to surrender to Him. Because I'm afraid that, even after I pursue Him, I won't be satisfied.
So instead of pursuing Him, I've sat idly, and in my idleness, I cling to other things in hopes of satisfying my soul.
And guess what? My idols never satisfy me. Never.
As my pastor said this morning, only God can make and fulfill the claim of being able to satisfy our souls. Whatever else I'm drinking to satisfy the thirst in my soul, it will not satisfy. Only Jesus can satisfy my soul. Only Jesus. He is enough, surrender is rest, and He will satisfy every longing of my heart.
So the question is, what then will I do? Will I do nothing and let my idols grow? Will I continue chasing after empty things? Or will I throw off my idols in pursuit of the only One who can fill me till I am overflowing?
